Wait You're gay?
by abbieingleby
Summary: Harvey has been waiting for his moment to ask Mike out for 4 years, ever since he laid eyes on the pup. When his moment finally arrives, he finds something out about Mike that could either pull them closer together, or push them very far apart..
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfic, I'm really sorry if its a tad OOC but I'm just not that bad ass. My story doesn't coincide with any episode and unfortunately, like everyone else in the world besides Aaron Korsh, I dont own suits or anything affiliated with it. ( Quick self harm warning. )

Prologue

Mike stumbled through the doors into a grand hotel suite where four other young men were sitting on chairs, he smirked, they all looked the same, just another guy in a suit. He checked behind himself to realise the cops had lost him, a beautiful red head looked up at him and he mumbled words that to this day he can't remember before staggering into the large hotel suite.

I looked up from behind the desk, this was the seventh guy I'd seen today, and each one had been a waste of his time.. But this guy was different, cropped blonde hair, blue eyes with that nervous twinkle, and .. he was out of breath. Wait, what?

Chapter One

Four years later, Mike and I are the dynamic duo, the Batman and Robin of Pearson Specter ( obviously I'm Batman, contrary to what Mike believes ). Sure, there's been ups and downs.. And Mike's been a total drama queen about it all, but he's a damn good associate, a mini-me if you will.

"Harvey, Mr. Powell's deposition is in 5 minutes, in Conference Room 3." Donna's voice over the intercom brings me out of my little day dream. I'd been getting distracted a lot recently, Donna put it down to my decline into old age. She doesn't know what she's talking about, I'm at my prime. Well.. perhaps I'm not at my peak like Mike.. ah! Getting distracted again, and it always appears to be about him. I shook my head and slipped out of my chair, doing the button up on my suit jacket. I strode out of my office, quickly checking my reflection. I shook my head and chuckled softly to myself, what was Donna talking about? Hell, i've never looked as good.

The deposition dragged, I thought for once that I'd let Mike ask the questions.. but really it was just an excuse to sneak side ways glances at him as he passionately interrogated the client. His scrawly hand writing had already covered two pieces of paper with notes and he wasn't done yet. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, and as Mike seemed to have the deposition covered, I stepped out. It was Donna.

"So, you going to ask him out yet or are you too chicken?" I scoffed, I wasn't too chicken for anything! "Sure Donna, I'll ask Mike out when Goose comes back to life." She laughed softly, and I wondered that if I wasn't gay, how my life would be different. I'd probably have little red headed children and a house in the suburbs. "Harvey I'm serious, it's been four years. You're just digging yourself a deeper hole. Ask him out tonight. I'll make myself scarce." I smiled nervously, slipping my spare hand into my suit pants, "That just means that you're going late night shopping with my Black card." She laughed again and hung up, I checked on my pup and as he seemed to be doing well, I left him to it.

The sun had set over the city hours before, and I was tossing my baseball between my hands. Mike had to drop off the files at some point.. It was nearing eleven, which wasn't unusual, but it was too late for a date. I picked up my jacket and slung it over my arm, aswell as files to work on over the weekend. Slowly, I walked through the bull pen, no one else was around but you could hear the faint snores of my associate, with his little ear buds still plugged in. "Mike.." I murmured, standing in front of his glass box. He moved, knocking his coffee mug over himself, clearly he hadn't been asleep long because he let out a yelp of pain as the searing coffee splashed his chest and thighs. "MIKE!" I couldn't have done anything, he sprung back, tears pricking his eyes and all I could do was stand and watch. He hadn't acknowledged my existence in his heist, and quickly started removing his clothing to relieve some of the pain. My associate looked up as I softly chuckled, "Fuck! Harvey I didn't r-realise you were stood there.." he murmured , trying to remain as modest as possible. My eyes flickered to his crotch and back up to his red face. "Your burnt Mike.." He looked ashamed, and his mouth opened as if he was going to speak, but thought better of it. "Mike.. The coffee.. The coffee didn't do that, did they?" He sadly shook his head, there were burn marks along his thighs and my heart swelled, my puppy couldn't be that depressed.. Surely? I looked at him for an answer and he spoke shakily, "N-no, Harvey, the coffee didn't do that." He paused, and I let him continue, still in shock. "I did. I keep telling myself I'll stop.. but as soon as they heal, I have an overwhelming urge to do it again. I barely sleep thanks to my nightmares, I don't have time to eat, and when I do I just throw it up again."

"Mike.." I whisper, shocked. "You're coming home with me, tonight. Get a good night's sleep away from your lighter, get some food into you, and I'll phone Jessica telling her we're both taking a day off. I'm going to help you Mike." My puppy looks dumbfounded that someone would even want to help him, and once again my heart swells at the knowledge that he's had to be pretty self sufficient over the years. He carefully dresses in his spare suit and I take the coffee stained one, throwing it in the trash.

"Hey! That was one of my good suits!" I roll my eyes as we walk into the elevator, "I'll buy you a new one, kiddo."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I managed to get a shaking Mike back into my apartment, he'd suffered a panic attack on the journey over. He hadn't told anyone about his self harming, and he'd been happy with it like that. He never wanted me to find out.. I felt bad for my pup, he needed someone to look after him. I would just put aside any romantic thoughts whilst he recovered..

"Harveeey.." Mike whined, struggling out of my arms. I had ended up carrying my associate into the building because he seemed fully incapable of walking on his own. "No, Mike. We're nearly there now. It'll do you good for someone to take care of you." He whined a little more before snuggling close to my chest, I was reluctant to put him down once we reached my door, but I would just end up fumbling with my keys, and that was not cool.

Once inside, I told him to sit at the bar and I'd fix him up something to eat. All the while, my head was swimming with images of Mike alone in his dingy little apartment, his lighter in hand, burning his white milky skin. Again. And again. And again. I shook my head to snap myself out of my little bubble, "Mikey, what do you want to eat?" I adopted a softer tone, concerned with his well being, he was fidgety and kept looking around the apartment as if someone were there. I tapped his shoulder when I got no reply, "Mike?" He looked at me, his eyes as wide as saucers, before falling against my shoulder, his body wracked with sobs. Oh god, I thought. This is probably all very overwhelming, perhaps I shouldn't have called him Mikey. Yes, you idiot, it was the nickname that's causing him to have a meltdown. "Mikey.. I'm not going to tell anyone. If that's what you're worried about."

Suddenly, my pup stopped crying and looked at me, his eyes red and puffy. "No one? Not even Donna?" he whispered, barely audible. I nodded slowly, "Not even Donna." So this is what my puppy is worried about.. people knowing, people judging. "Harvey.. If it's okay with you, can we just watch Top Gun and get some sleep? I promise I'll eat plenty tomorrow. I j-just don't feel like eating anything tonight." Mike looked at the clock on the wall and sighed, it was 2 am and he felt exhausted. I could tell. His eyes were dark and baggy, his eyelids drooping every second or two. I nodded, "Maybe we should just get you into bed Mike, we can watch Top Gun tomorrow after we buy you a suit and visit the doctor's." This felt right. Taking care of Mike, my Mike.. No, not my Mike. Just Mike. "Alright harvey.. I'll go to bed." The younger man stumbled his way into the guest bedroom and stripped out of his suit, falling onto the bed and instantly falling into a fitful sleep.

"PLEASE! DON'T.. FUCK TREVOR WHY DID I DO THIS FOR YOU?!" I heard him screaming out, and rolled out of my large bed straight onto the floor. I rubbed my head and padded through the large open condo to the guest bedroom at the end of the corridor, Mike was tossing on top of the duvet, sweat dripping off his skinny torso. "NO.. PLEASE PUT THE GUN DOWN!" He screamed again, before I managed to shake him awake, stood only in my flannel pyjama pants. Mike's eyes flickered, adjusting to the soft lighting in the room. He moved back, his legs instinctively pulling close to his chest. Mike looked confused, so I made small, slow movements, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Mike.. It's Harvey, you're safe. You're sleeping in my guest bedroom and you had a nightmare." Slowly, Mike came to the realisation of where he was and he nodded. "Why dont we get you underneath the duvet and you get some rest, it's 5 am." Mike looked scared as I pulled the covers back, but he obediently tucked his legs underneath the monochrome duvet and rested his head on the pillow, curled up in the foetus position. I stood and watched from the door as the man I had grown to love fell back into fitful sleep. I whispered into the darkness, "I love you Mike."

I'd only been back in my own bed for ten minutes when I heard Mike call out again, but before I could get up and find out what the hell it was this time, I heard his little foot steps pad along the wooden floor of my apartment. The shadow on the floor grew closer, and Mike appeared at the foot of my bed. He whispered into the dark, (I think presuming that I was asleep) "I love you too Harvey." I shifted, sitting up in my bed, watching Mike jump back slightly. "Shit. You're awake." I laughed, "Yes, Mike. I'm awake." He nervously choke laughed in response and I smiled, even if he couldn't see it. "Come to bed Mikey." After a little awkwardness on Mike's part, we had managed to be spooned up together in bed, me drawing small patterns on Mike's stomach. "Harvey.." Mike whispered, I sighed, this kid never slept. "Yes Mikey?" i murmured as happily as I could at 6 am. "You're not going to run off in the morning are you?" I chuckled, "Mike, this is my apartment. I'm not going to run off in the morning." He seemed content with that answer, because seconds later I could hear his soft snoring and his mumbling of little words like deposition. Jeez, even in his sleep this kid talked. I loved him though. And.. and he loved me. Even with all my problems and baggage, Mike loved me. I wonder how long he's loved me. Donna would love it if it was a love at first sight thing, like in one of her soppy rom com's. I doubt it though.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

I heard Mike stumble and roll out of bed, clashing and banging through my condo until he got to the kitchen. I rolled over and tried to ignore him pick up pans and utensils, noises ringing through my ears. But oh god, he was probably making a mess. And shit, there were definitely things that could hurt him in the kitchen. I pushed the grey covers back and swung my legs over the side of the bed, looking at the time. Mmm, eleven am.

"Mike.. hunny, let me make you some food." I rubbed the sleep from my eyes to see Mike cracking eggs into a bowl, mixing some milk in, what was he doing. "No! I want to. Harvey, let me make you pancakes." I laughed, I hated pancakes if I was honest, but watching Mike stumble around the kitchen, was entertaining to say the least. "What are you doing then? I have pre made shit in the cupboard." He shook his head quickly, "No no! This is how the English make them. I was watching a program a couple weeks ago before I forgot to pay my cable bill." I laughed, not quite awake yet. This felt right, it didnt feel strange, you could even say it felt natural.. "You dont have to worry about your cable bill anymore." I chuckled, taking some cutlery from the draw and setting two places at the breakfast bar. Mike had stilled, he was no longer beating the batter with the stainless steel whisk. Shit, what had I said now? "What do you mean, 'You dont have to worry about your cable bill anymore?'. This isn't permanent Harvey, sure.. we could go on a date or sleep over at each others but I'm not moving in with you. Not this soon. I dont need someone looking after me." Oh shit. Shit. Shit. "Why not?" The look on Mike's face proved that was not the right thing to say. "Because Harvey, we work together. You dont seem to realise that if I moved in, we would spend nearly all our lives together." I blanched, does he not want to spend all our lives together? "And what's so bad about that? I'm great!"

Mike put the bowl of batter down, sighing he padded back to the guest room to find his crumpled suit. I watched him dress clumsily before walking back out into the main room. "And there it is again, Harvey. I want you to think about why we shouldn't be together 24/7. When your kick ass brain has figured that out, I'm sure you'll let me know." He walked to the door, opening it and looking back. My mouth was a small O, I wasn't quite sure what had just happened. "Don't even think of calling Donna. You need to figure this out on your own, Batman." I felt dilapidated. Yes, that was the word for how I felt right now. Damn Mike and his 'I-can't-spend-24/7-with-you.' I picked up the batter and threw it away, intent on moping through the rest of the day, maybe working on a couple files.

I was halfway through Rocky, when my fiery red head of an assistant walked into the large main room of my condo. "Harvey, what did you do this time." Mike was stood behind her, puppy dog eyes an all. "I found this one, sitting in the office, at his cubicle because he couldn't get into his apartment." I raised my eyebrow, puzzled. "They were in my coffee stained suit.." Ah, the boy wonder speaks. I was angry. Why the hell didn't he just come home? There you go Specter, there's your problem. Right there. It's not home to Mike. "Mike, I'm sorry." Donna looked at me, this time it was her turn to look perplexed. "What did you do?" She repeated, pressing the matter. "We got in a fight." I gave her a look as if to say, yes we've not even been going out twenty four hours and I cocked up. Mike looked to his feet, still dressed in his crumpled suit. "Mike.. Babe, I know this isn't home to you. I know your apartment is your safe place. Your solace. I know it is, because thats what mine is to me. And.. I thought you'd love my apartment like I do. I forget that because I think something, that you dont think it aswell." Mike looked at me, and the corners of his lips curled up in a smile. "Bingo." He whispered. Donna looked at me and gave me a small nod, mouthing well done. I felt reassurance in that small gesture. She discretely walked away and out of the door, letting Mike step forward and wrap his arms around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder. This is where he belongs.

"Can I stay here forever?" I heard Mike mumble, he had taken his suit jacket and shoes off and was curled up next to me on the couch. It was four pm, and the sun was low in the sky over the city I call home. "I wish Mikey. But you need a shower, some good food and some fresh clothes." He made small whiney noises and I laughed, "No objections baby, you can chose what order all that goes in." He grinned and whispered in my ear, "Can I add something to the list?" a smirk crawled across his lips, naughty Mike, I thought. "Would that be a visit to the doctors?" I quipped, knowing full well it involved my bedroom and definitely no stethoscopes. He whined none the less, "Noo.." He straddled my lap and I got nervous, normally I would sweep him up off his feet and carry him to my bed. But Mike was different. Mike was .. broken. "M-Mike. Take your pants off." He smirked, thinking he was getting exactly what he wanted. I shifted him so he was sat on the couch and walked to my bathroom, looking through the medicine cabinet for burn ointment. As I walked back into the main room, he realised he definitely was not getting what he wanted. "I'll reward you tonight if you do what I ask." His beautiful face sighed, and I realised, he wasn't used to this. He was used to asking and getting, but not being made to do things, not having a man care for him. I kneeled in front of him, my jeans slack, I slowly and carefully rubbed the ointment over each slim, long burn mark. He whined and tears pricked his eyes, but it had to be done. They would scar otherwise. "Here, all done. I'll bath with you." Mike's little face lit up with that idea, "Will you really?" I chuckled softly, "Of course I will, Mikey."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much to anyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed my story. I grin and jump up and down everytime I get an email. Sad, I know. Well gotyour6 here is your awaited chapter. ;)**

Chapter 4

After our bath, Mike was sat on the chair in my room, a towel wrapped around his waist whilst I dug through the bags Donna had sent over. I'd asked her to buy some new clothes for Mike, because I knew he would never do it himself. At this point, I felt more like his dad than .. well, anything else. "Come on Mike. They're nice." I grinned, holding black skinny jeans "Besides, your ass will look good in them." I smirked, knowing full well that was going to entice him into wearing them. Dutifully, Mike dressed himself in the jeans and a shirt with rolled up sleeves. Hmm, barefoot. I had already dressed, and was stood behind him as he sorted his hair in the mirror. "You're so handsome, Mikey." He blushed a cute red and I took this as my opportunity to kiss his neck softly. He giggled and my heart fluttered slightly. Maybe Donna was right. Maybe I am declining into old age. Then I saw myself, definitely not declining into old age.

"Harvey.. Do I have to go to the doctors? I could just book an appointment in a couple weeks." Mike muttered, playing with my hair. Dammit, Ross. Leave the hair. .. Is what I wanted to say. But I found myself cooing softly, "Mikey, cmon. I need to know that you're okay. I need to know how to look after you, and you need to know how to look after yourself." And with that, nothing else was said. Until we were in the car, travelling through the quietening city, to the doctors.

The smart, blonde receptionist called Mike's name and I stood, slipping my hand into his, which to say the least, was slippery. We walked, well Mike shuffled and I strode, into the doctor's office and she smiled softly. "Mr Ross, what can we do for you?" I sat mute in the chair next to his, this was Mike's battle, and I would help him through it, but he had to take the first step. And thankfully, he did. "For the past four years I've not been able to cope with everything in my life, my parents died when I was a child and that has always troubled me. But.. I got by, I would smoke in my teens, finding it a good way to release. Forget about all this shit. Until a few years ago, when not even pot could help." I took a small intake of breath, struggling to imagine a teenager dealing with all of this emotion. "My lighter caught my skin one day, and I found it to be .. satisfying. Not good, not bad. But satisfying." I choked, now it was me who got sweaty palms, Mike squeezed tight in response. Maybe I need him too. "So everyday for three years I would burn my skin. It took away the edge, the struggle. Then my life took a turn, and suddenly got better. For six months, my skin was flawlessly clean. My lighter was discarded. T-then my grandmother died. And everything went to shit again." The polite doctor nodded, "Have you got burn marks of present, Micheal?" she adopted a soft tone, one you would use with a child.. he nodded, warily. "May I see them? I can prescribe something for the burns.. and then I'd like you to see a phycologist." He stood up shakily and removed his jeans, sitting on the bed and pointing out the burn marks that littered his thighs. She carefully examined them and scrawled some notes. "You can take your.." she nodded to me and I coughed, "Oh, Harvey." Mike almost laughed, truth be told, I hadn't been listening. I'd heard it all before and the last thing I wanted was to get upset, I had to be strong for Mike. She repeated herself, "You can take your Harvey with you." Mike laughed, his jeans back on. I felt that him and the polite doctor would get along. Someone he could trust. I would make sure she became his doctor, that she was kept informed of his progress, that she found the right shrink and the right meds for him.

We were walking out of the doctors office, my hand in his, our fingers interlaced. "How was that Mike?" He smiled at me, "Not as bad as I thought it would be. I think she found you amusing." I chuckled, embarrassed about my little mistake, quickly changing the subject I smirked softly. "What would you like for dinner, Mikey?" He stood and whispered in my ear, "You, of course." I knew better than to ask stupid questions. "Steak it is then."

The cute waitress sat us at our table and I felt a swift kick to the shin, "Oi, you were checking her out." I grinned, "What? I swing both ways. It's what makes me such a good ball player." I laughed and Mike shook his head, "What have I got myself into?" Quickly, I quipped back. "My bed." Mike laughed happily and replied. "No but that's the goal." He winked. Our steaks arrived and we were just about to pay the bill and leave when I saw Louis sitting in the corner with two steaks. I whispered in Mike's ear, "Want to go boast about our new found awesome to Louis?"

Louis looked up, "Oh wonderful, if it isn't Butch and Sundance." I laughed, "Like you know who they are Louis." Mike grinned, his arm casually slung around my waist. Louis, like the hawk he is, noticed immediately. "I could report you two to Jessica. Gross misconduct." I laughed, a proper deep in the belly laugh. "And what would you tell her? That Mike had his arm wrapped around my waist, we were enjoying steak? Sounds like a date to me.. Or have you never heard of one?" Louis scoffed and turned away from me. We walked out of the restaurant, and as we'd both shared bottle of wine, we decided to walk back through the park to my condo.

It must have been gone eleven, and the few stars that were visible were shining through the thick clouds. I could see the moon and chuckled, thinking of the story my dad used to tell me about the man on the moon. Mike coughed, "Harv, are you ever going to take me to bed?" he murmured quickly. "M-Mike." I hadn't expected that. No way. "Well, you tell me every Monday morning of your weekend conquests. I know you're not celibate. And you can't be a virgin. So what is it?" Wow. Mikey, I underestimate you. He was definitely becoming more like the Mike I first knew.. not as broken, not as weak as he'd been on that Thursday evening. "I'm scared of hurting you Mike.. You're like this careful, delicate porcelain that I have to keep safe. Mike.. in my eyes you appear broken. And I can't make more cracks." Mike looked at me, and that's when I saw the tears pooling in his eyes, slowly one by one, fall down his face. "I'm not broken .. I'm on the mend. I'm not that unloved toy in the back of the store anymore with the missing eye and the stuffing falling out. I'm that little toy safely squeezed by a kid who doesn't care about the missing eye, or the stuffing. The kid knows that can be mended. I'm not broken Harvey." I looked at my beautiful boy, kissing the salty tears from his cheeks. And in that instance, I took his face in my hands and kissed his lips. I'd never kissed anyone quite like Mike before, he met me with such power and love and prowess. We were soon pulling back in need of air, gasping like two teenagers. "You're the kid that believes that because a toy is missing an eye and has stuffing falling out, doesn't mean that he'll always be missing an eye, and that you can patch him up. The toy will never be perfect, but he doesn't need perfect. I love you Harvey."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

We'd been back at the office two days, and I was already starting to see the affect it was having on Mike's health. He had dark circles under his eyes, several of those stupid energy drinks in his trash can and he hadn't been to mine in .. well it seemed like forever. Donna stepped into the room, "Harvey.." I looked up, great. What the fuck was wrong now. "Mike hasn't come back from his break." I rolled my eyes. "So he took a longer break. I'll kick his ass later, I'm busy Donna." She took a seat in one of the chairs opposite my desk. "No Harvey, Mike isn't back from his break 3 hours ago. No one's seen him, and he's not in the file room, I checked." I groaned, "Donna why can't you go look for him?" She sighed, and flipped her auburn hair over her shoulder, "He told you he loves you. And you didn't say it back. That was three days ago Harvey. This isn't my shit to clean up." I got up from my chair, buttoned my suit jacket up and sighed. "Fine. But this isn't going to be like Bridget Jones, I'm just going to drag his ass back to work." How many places could he actually go? He's a creature of habit, anyway.

Or so I thought. I'd been in the car for 3 hours now, and I'd been everywhere. Even his goddamn apartment was empty. "Dammit, Mike." I rang his phone again, but it kept going to voicemail. I eventually rang his doctor, worst case scenario's ran through my head, each worse than the last. "Hello.. This is Harvey Specter. I was just wondering if Mike had had an appointment today. .. Great, thanks, bye." Well, that came to a dead end too. Where the hell could the kid have got to? Then my phone buzzed. It was Donna. 'He's at the cemetery.'

"Mike.." I walked up to him cautiously, "Mike.. you've been here for nearly 5 hours." He turned to face me and he looked.. well, shit. "Harvey, dont. You dont care." Those five words pissed me off, and it didn't matter that he was sat by his grandmother's grave stone. "I do care. Why else would I have been driving round for the past three hours looking for you? I even called your doctor, dammit Mike." My hand curled up in a fist and I wanted to punch something. "Wow, you called my doctor. Harvey, it was very clear to me how you felt when I told you I loved you, and you smiled and got in the car. Maybe I'm not the one who's fucked here, Harvey. Maybe that's you. Because you can't tell me you love me anymore. Now everything's back to normal. You can't function." And it hit me, all those nights ago, he didn't hear me say I love you. He just presumed I did. And that was what Mike was used to, presuming he was loved but no one actually saying it to his face. "This isn't the time or place for a conversation like this Mike. You're cold and wet, and you'll get sick if you sit out here any longer. Let's call it a day, we'll get you home." I gritted my teeth, "Even if that means your apartment." Mike stood up and I smiled softly, he smiled too but the smile didn't meet his eyes. I'd made my Mikey sad. "We can go to your apartment. You probably have food."

I'd slipped my arm around the younger man's waist, in an attempt to help him out of the elevator and along the corridor to my condo. He was weak, and tired and cold. And I hadn't even addressed the main problem, he didn't think I loved him, and I'd found him freezing by his grandmother's grave. Once we'd staggered into the apartment, Mike stood, lost. "Mikey.. Come here baby." And with those few words, the man I loved was wrapped around me, sobbing into my shoulder. I didn't know how to respond to that. I stood there, helping him to undress out of his wet, cold clothes. "Go sit on the couch and grab the duvet from my room, we can watch top gun like I promised you last week." I watched him walk, in his boxers, to my room and emerge in my flannel pants and Harvard sweatshirt. He had the duvet wrapped around his slight figure. "I hope you don't mind." I shook my head, "No baby, I don't mind."

Mike was curled up in my lap, wavering in and out of sleep. "Mikey. Baby, lets go to bed." He mumbled agreement and I lifted him, wrapped in the duvet and an ensemble of my clothes. "Love you Harvey.." I nodded, "Mmm Mikey. I know." and with that he sighed, and switched back on to autopilot.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Before i start, i just want to apologise for not updating as quickly as I usually do! School has been hectic, and I've just completed my ballet and modern exams, so I'll have a bit more time to write. I forgot how much I loved it. **

I left him laying in my bed, the sun had woken me up a couple hours ago, and I would normally have just gotten back from my morning run through central park. I padded through my condo, walking to my home office next to the spare bedroom. It had floor to ceiling glass on one wall, and was spacious enough for me to breath. I always used to imagine that it could be a nursery.. But that was when I first bought the place .. back when me and Cassie were together. I sat in my chair, dressed in washed out denim jeans and a long sleeved cotton tee. Comfortable clothes as my dad would've called them. I miss him. I don't know how much he would approve of me and Mike. I never told him I was gay, just didn't seem right. We didn't talk about shit like that. We played catch and we teased Marcus.. But we didn't talk about emotional stuff.

"Mmm harvee.." Mike mumbled sleepily, his arms flailing in the bed, trying to find the other warm body. He sat up and looked around when he couldn't find one. "Harveyy.." He mumbled a bit louder, rubbing the sleep from his blue eyes. Finally, after what to Mike seemed like hours, he decided that Harvey must have gone out. Because he wasn't coming to the bedroom and Harvey's condo was nearly all open plan. So he would have heard.  
Mike wandered through the apartment, but the keys were on the side. He'd been awake for a good hour now, so he called out. "Harvey!" I looked up from my work, hearing the echo of my name from the kitchen. I kicked the door of my office open, "What, Mike?" Like a moth to a flame, he ran in the direction of the sound. "Harvee." He smiled, that boyish grin of his. I chuckled, he was still in his boxers and he'd got a five o clock shadow. Mmm, he looked really good. Then it kicked me, the elephant in the room. I glanced at his thighs, the burn marks were still there.. but they were marks. Not scabs, not wounds. Marks. "Much better." I mumbled appreciatively. Mike, the hawk he is, heard me. I could see the cogs turning in his head, and he slowly looked at his thighs. "Yeah.. Ever since you took my lighter off me they've been getting better. I dont get as many headaches anymore." I smiled softly at the man, "That's because you're eating and sleeping properly. Bed times are important for you, it seems." Mike blushed, giggling. "How is this going to work though Harv? We're fine here. We click. But when we get to the office you disregard me completely, like I'm your associate again and nothing else is happening." I sighed, "Well we have work tomorrow. I'm sure you'll find out." Mike looked at me with hurt in his eyes and I instantly knew I'd said the wrong thing . "I'm going to Donna's.. Dont wait up." It was already 2 pm and I'd not gotten a lot of work done.. I retreated to the kitchen, finding my oldest whiskey and a tumbler that would hold a sufficient amount. Even though I'd probably only end up drinking out of the bottle.

Mike banged on Donna's door, he'd bought her wine on the way over but had ended up drinking a half of the bottle. "Donna! Donna open up!" Mike whined a little now, he didn't even remember why he was mad at Harvee.. Harvee.. The work thing! That was it. The fiery red head opened up her door, "Oh for gods sake it better be impor- oh mike." She looked at him, and by the hollow look in his eyes she immediately knew. "Come in." Mike stumbled through the door, "I brought you wine!" He looked at the bottle. "But it's nearly all gone? I don't know where though." The alcohol had already entered his system and he was drunkedly mumbling. Donna wrapped an arm around his waist, and hooked his arm over her shoulder. "C'mon puppy. Sit on the couch." She helped him fold his body onto the couch. "But for fucks sake, dont be sick on it." He laughed, until his brain had already remembered why he was here. At donna's. And not snuggled up in the arms of Harvey, the man he loves. Oh yeah, thats because he a) doesn't love you, and b) forgets about our relationship at work. Mike groaned and curled himself around his stomach, he'd never been able to hold his alcohol well. As always with Donna, she appeared at the right time. "I've got advil, a glass of water and some juice. Take the advil, drink the juice then down the water. And then we're going to have a sensible conversation about how flighty you are." Mike looked at her, and did what she said. He wasn't even insulted, he'd ran off from Harvey twice in the last three days. He had work tomorrow, he was his associate, he couldn't keep doing this. Donna sighed, Mike was halfway through his glass of water and the colour was coming back to his face. She kicked off her converse and tucked her feet underneath her legs, she'd found this position comfortable ever since she'd started those yoga classes with her fiancé Mark. Actual yoga. That's not saying they didn't have great, mind blowing, bendy sex afterwards..

"Harvee doesn't love me." He grumbled, almost inaudibly. Donna sighed again, "Harvey does love you, Mike. He's scared. You keep running from him and he's scared that if he says it you'll take him for granted." Mike looked at her and wondered why they weren't together. Donna and Harvey would have been great. But maybe she had the same problems he did with Harvey and his change of demeanour in the office. Besides, she had Mark. And he was perfect for her. "But I wouldn't run away from him if he told me he loved me.. If I knew he loved me." Donna shook her head, her auburn hair tossing off her shoulder. The younger man saw why Mark had asked Donna to marry him a month after they'd officially been together, she was too good to let go.  
"You do know he loves you. You can see it. The way he gives you cute pet names like baby, the way he cares for you, he lets you sleep in his bed, you can tell by the way he kisses you. Can't you Mike? So what are you holding back from him." Mike head had been nodding, almost like a bobble head for as long as Donna had been speaking. "I'm scared. He's been in a few long term relationships.. I havent. I've dated.. well I've never dated a guy. Trevor and me would.. well he would take advantage of me but I've never dated a guy." Donna played with her perfectly manicured nails, listening to what Mike had to say. "Mike.. How long have you known you were gay?" Donna had grown too curious to listen to Mike mumble on about how Harvey didn't love him, that was bullshit. She was interested in the juicy stuff. "I guess. Um, about four years?" His eyes wandered, off to his first day of work at Pearson Hardman. "As long as you've been working for Harvey? What a strange coincidence." Mike blushed deep red, he nodded. He knew if he spoke, his voice would give him away. "You've only ever loved one guy. You didn't know you were gay until you met Harvey. Is that right, Mike?" He nodded again, scared of her reaction. "Mike you shouldn't be here. You should be with Harvey." Mike got up, smiled shyly at Donna and showed himself out, but what he didn't think he'd be seeing someone else in Harvey's bed when he got home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

**I need to apologise, but I've changed the way I write. Its now in a different POV. Sorry! If you hate it message me and I'll edit back to how I used to. **

Mike knocked hard on the door of Harvey's condo, he hasn't needed a key up until now, well he was always with Harvey. Oh.. his Harvey. That thought, ( in his slightly intoxicated state ) made his heart flutter.

Harvey scrambled out of bed, the girl beside him wither her soft blonde curls peeking out of the covers. He didn't think Mike would be at the door, yet he still felt that rush he feels whenever Mike is close. The blonde girls' leg was artfully hanging off the bed from underneath the black canvas covers. Her tanned skin was in perfect contrast. Those California girl looks was probably the main reason Harvey had been in love with her in the first place. … KNOCK, KNOCK. That unwelcome noise brought the lawyer back to reality. "Cassie! You've got to freakin' go!" he hissed at her, even though he'd been the one to text her and even though she was willing he'd been the one to 'take this to the bedroom'. Cassie murmured sleepily, rolled out of bed and pulled on her jeans, grabbed Harvey's shirt and pulled it onto her naked chest. She stylishly did a few shirt buttons upland tucked it into her dark grey jeans before pulling her heels on, grabbing her bucket bag and running to the door. Harvey was about to call over, 'no not the front door', but she had already opened it to a rather bewildered Mike, who could practically smell Harvey's cologne on her.

Donna had called Mike up on his flightyness, so he tried to not run when he saw the six foot nothing, leggy blonde standing in the doorway of his condo. Probably a hooker. Cassie quickly sidestepped him and walked down the hall, into the elevator like she'd probably done a thousand times before. Mike waited til she had clearly gone before stumbling into the apartment. His mind was a little hazy, but he knew exactly what had happened.

Harvey appeared, wearing jeans, unbuttoned hanging off of his hips. Mike could've eaten him up right then he wasn't so … cross. "I can explain. Cassie-" Harvey started, before the younger man gave him a look that could burn ice, "Cassie? As in your ex-fucking-fiancée, Cassie?" He spat out her name like some foul taste he wanted to get rid of. "I was only gone 4 hours, yet you managed to get your ex into your bed!" Mike was fuming, and all harvey could do was stand there, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. "Fuck this. I need a drink." Mike stumbled over to the counter, and pulled the fridge door open finding a bottle of champagne. "Oh yeeees." He pulled the cork off and the fizz erupted out, spilling over his clothes and the floor. He took a gulp from the bottle and instantly, the alcohol flowed through his veins, making him feel ten times more powerful. With that, the young man walked over to his boyfriend and pushed him against the wall. "Now we are going to have a serious conversation about us, Harvee reginald specter!" Mike hadn't put the champagne bottle down, and was now waving it around in the air, spilling the 'bubbles' everywhere, he was giggly and powerful and he didn't care what Harvey had to say. "I was coming back here to tell you that you're the reason I'm gay, I didn't know before but I sure as hell do now because I love you! And you've never ever ever said it back you silly man. You call yourself a closer! You're not doing a very good of closing me!" Another giggle, and gulp of champagne. "Aaaand, you dont understand that things have changed. For us here AND at work! You can be you, but you've got to take my feelings into con-sid-er-ation, because im your boyfriend now!" mike was grinning, he loved being this honest. "Oh! And another thing.. She! Will never be sleeping in your bed again. I'll let you off this time, if you give me the magic words."

And with that Mike fell forward into Harvey's arms, immediately falling asleep. The alcohol, and the honesty had obviously been too much for Mike. Harvey sighed, "Oh Mikey. I think we should have a serious conversation, when you're not drunk.." He slipped an arm underneath Mike's legs and hauled him into a 'bridal' position of such, the lawyer carried his boyfriend through his condo and to his bedroom, undressing him and tucking him into bed. Harvey thought it wise to sleep on the couch that night, knowing that in the morning, their relationship would definitely not be as plain sailing. Mike slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning. It was only when he woke up at 4 am that he realised what Harvey had done. Harvey hated cheaters, this all stemmed from his mother. So why the fuck would he cheat? A surge of anger rose through Mike, and he staggered out of bed, going to find the man.

"Mike! Mike what the fuck?" Mike was shaking Harvey awake, but when Harvey, in his sleep deprived state, opened his eyes, he knew he was in for one hell of a fight.. "I want to talk." Mike clearly stated, taking a seat at the table, on the opposite side to the one Harvey would instinctively sit at. He felt like he was walking into a deposition. "You slept with her last night.. And then put me to bed in the bed you and her had just fucked in?! Do you not get how bad that is, Harvey?" Harvey blankly nodded, "I know.." Mike sighed, "Actually Harvey, I don't think you fucking do! You need to sort your shit out, because this" Mike gestured between the two of them. "This is never going to fucking work out if you cant keep your paws off your ex fiancee, and if you cant tell me you bloody love me! Just because you're fucked up doesn't mean you have to make our relationship fucked up too!" Harvey looked at Mike warily, "I'm really sorry .. Mike .. you've got to understand, I'd had a couple of drinks and I needed some .. relief." he mumbled, ashamed. He really was at his lowest point now. "You needed some fucking RELIEF?" Mike was fuming, this was beyond what he could cope with this early in the morning. He pushed the chair of the table back, stood up and regained his composure. "I'm going to work."

**I've changed this ending, because as a reviewer pointed out to me .. it was stupid. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**I know this one is short, really short. I apologise for that in advance, but I wanted it to just how it is. I understand if you don't like it.. But please review. :)**

Mike had been sat in his office for about three hours, working on a case for Harvey.. Even thinking his name left a foul taste in his mouth. Rachel had dropped by to see how he was, but he really wasn't in the mood for a conversation. He'd agreed to go for sushi with her on friday, but that was four days away. Anything could happen in that time, if he was honest with himself.

"Mike?" Donna spoke, pushing the glass door open. "How're you doing?" She looked sympathetic, like she already knew that harvey had cocked up. Mike sighed, putting his pen down. "I'm fine Donna, you know what Harvey did then?" She took a seat, nodding. "I know what Harvey did .. i know who Harvey did." If Mike hadn't been so pissed, he'd probably have laughed at that one, not bad Donna, not bad, he thought. "I don't know what to do Donna. I didn't think he'd be like this. He wasn't before we were together, he was the perfect gentlemen." Donna nodded and mm'd in all of the right places, "I think you need to keep it normal for a little bit. Don't spend too much time with him, give him a taste of his own medicine, make him miss you." Mike nodded, "That could work.. Will you drop these files off for me? I'll come pick up the others for the deposition in half an hour." The red head nodded, and took the files from his hand, and sashayed down the hallway.

**_A few hours earlier.. _**

Harvey placed a tall, coffee on the top of her cubicle side. He kept walking into his office, sliding the button out of it's lapel. She immediately stood up, and pushed through the door. "What did you do?" Harvey looked up, his face gave it all away. "You didn't! Please Harvey tell me you didn't." Harvey sighed, facing the window. "Donna.. Don't start.." he mumbled. "I'm going to. You're not going to get sympathy from me for being so damn stupid! I thought you loved him. Fuck! I told Mike that you loved him. He was all ready to tell you everything and then you go and stomp on his feelings!" Harvey turned around at that last comment. "I do love him." Donna shook her head quickly, her hair turning with her. "This is not how you show someone you love them. I told Mike to give you space, so don't push it with him. Can you do that, Harvey?" Harvey looked at her sharply, "I refuse to do that on the ground's that I don't want to." she looked at him and rolled her eyes, he had started acting like a petulant child again and she (frankly) couldn't be bothered.

Harvey sat at his desk, sulking. He knew he loved Mike. It was obvious to him. But it clearly wasn't obvious to Mike… And now he felt like a grade a douchebag. Goddamit.

…

Mike stepped out of the building, glad to have finished his files, taking a well earned break. All this shit with Harvey was hurting his head, he knew he shouldn't so easily forgive Harvey, he knew people would judge him if he did. He knew it was the wrong decision, but he so badly wanted to. He so badly wanted to be held in his lover's arms, to be comforted again, whisper those little words in his ears.

SLAP.

Mike's head hit the ground first. His whole body ricocheted off of the cold, hard tarmac. The squeal of tires from the cabs could be heard a mile off, the screams and shrieks of the women, clambering onto the streets to try and see what they could do, see if it was someone they knew. The car horns from a couple yards back blared, unknowledgeable to the man in the suit lying on the ground. Mike hadn't seen the car coming. The blood was pooling around his head.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay.. so its been months. I dont really know how to explain where I've been and why I havent been updating so here, is the long awaited chapter nine. x **

….

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

The world had stopped turning, that was the seventh call this morning. He let it go to answer machine. He knew what was coming next. "I'm sorry. I heard about Mike." The person on the other end of the phone would wait, they'd see if Harvey was going to reply and then they'd carry on. "I hope you're okay." Same again. They'd wait. No reply. "Call me if you need anything." The anything would always be emphasised to prove they meant it, but Harvey couldn't feel their sympathy. He could feel the tears on his face and the shirts that now just smelt of hospitals and disinfectant. Everything felt cold. He grew to expect a call every hour from someone else who he didn't know. He would stare at the box of Mike's belongings. The things from the office. The keys to his apartment. Harvey hadn't gone there yet. There was no need.. not yet. He would leave it right up until he had to lose all hope.

"Harvey!" Donna called out, jangling the keys in her ludicrously expensive handbag, she twisted the key in the lock and walked into his condo. It smelt of malt liquor and stale washing. Not that Harvey would have washed. She would bet money on that. She stepped over the clothing on the floor and the lonesome pizza box. Well, she thought, that's a start. He's eaten.

"No I havent." Harvey mumbled, like he knew what she was thinking. "I bought pizza thinking that Mike would like some. But Mike isn't here." Donna sighed and opened the pizza box. "Who ate it then?"

Harvey grinned. One of those tired, I've really lost it this time, grins. "The pigeons."

"Harvey.. Jessica wants to speak to you. It's been weeks. She. She needs you back at work."

"No." He refused, point blank. He couldn't go back to work if Mike wasn't there. If Mike and his damn skinny ties and ill-fitting suits and his shabby hair cut and his bright blue eyes and his scuffs on his shoes from his bike and his red bull breath wasn't going to be there. You can't go back to the crime scene, and you certainly can't go back to where you first met. Where the memories first started. It brings back a whole wave of new problems, new emotions. New shit.

…

Donna squeezed his hand in the elevator. "Thank you, Harv." He was wearing his oldest suit, the one that clung to his chest, to his arms that had lost bulk, the suit was wearing away at the edges and the button were becoming loose. But Mike had never seen this suit, Mike had never torn this suit from his body late at night. There were no memories attached to this suit.

"I'm not doing this for you." He mumbled, the elevator doors sprung open, and he tried to muster the same enthusiasm that they had. He looked to his left and the words 'Pearson Specter Litt' were proudly hanging on the wall, and he felt a heavy weight on his chest. All of this. And the one person he had to share it with.. Donna dragged him back into reality, he passed the receptionists, the bull pen, Rachel's office.. Rachel.. he couldn't keep walking. Mike's office was only two down from hers. He swiftly turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction. The pitying looks from the other partners passed him by. "Harvey!" Donna called out, but he was too far gone. He was just walking now. This wasn't even his floor anymore, he was climbing the stairs two at a time. The air was escaping from his lungs. The heaviness in his head was replaced by a pounding, a desire to scream but no sound would escape his mouth. His lips went dry and his skin grew hot. The world was spinning and he was perfectly still, watching from afar.

He burst out of the thick steel door that led to the roof, and the air gushed into his lungs almost in an instant. It was one of life's greatest triumphs, to be able to breathe again.

"I knew you'd come up here." She turned her face towards him, and the red soles of her shoes seemed visible before he knew who she was. Her dark skin and trimmed figure seemed lost on him. A woman who had been in his life longer than anyone, longer than Donna even. It hit him.

"Je-Jessica." Not once had she seen him since Mike's.. He pulled himself up. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Yes. Well, one of us had to come to work today. And I honestly didn't think it'd be you." She joked, and the smile crept up on him. No one had been normal with him and it gave him a welcome sigh of relief. "I won't ask you how you are because I've been given daily updates from Donna, and well, you look shit."

"Thanks." He shrugged, it was better than being told he was looking great. He could cope with the truth. "Now, I called you here to talk about work so that's what we'll do. Look, you've got to come back. The clients aren't coming back to the firm when they know you're not here. You're the best closer in this town and you need to make sure that title doesn't slip. C'mon, if you come back to work it might give you something to focus on besides the pigeons and their diet. I heard you're not meant to feed them pizza." She raised her eyebrows, pursed her lips and shook her head. Harvey felt like he was back at the DAs office. "Fine." he muttered, surrendering to her. Perhaps it would give him something to focus on.. Maybe he'd be so tired that when he returned home in the evenings he'd finally be able to sleep in the bed that him and Mike once shared.


	10. Chapter 10

**I hope you like this chapter.. I never know because people don't****like reviewing me anymore! **

**Chapter 10**

Mike blinked. He was thirsty, really thirsty. His eyes had adjusted to the light and he could feel something hot against his hand, he craned his neck slightly, looked down and saw Harvey's hand, chest, head. It was kind of slumped. It looked uncomfortable. Mike tried to think of the angle that Harvey's back must be curled up into. Mike tried to reach for the water but there wasn't any. The movement of Mike's good arm had shifted Harvey and he had instantly woken up.

"MIKE!" Harvey was beyond relieved, the tears pricked his eyes and he went to hug Mike.. but the damage done to his body was irreversible. Mike's small frame had a cast on one arm beyond the elbow, a brace around his neck to keep the ligament damage from getting any worse, and the swelling on his head had only just returned to normal size. He had stitches across his forehead from the hit on the tarmac, and his split lip had not healed. He had one black eye, and bruising around his temple, but he was awake. And he was alive. And when the doctors said to Harvey last week that Mike had a 20% chance of survival, Harvey had almost given up hope. He had slipped into mourning.

"What's wrong with you? Could I have some water?" Mike looked at Harvey and tried to put two and two together - he remembers getting hit by the car, it explains why he's in the hospital and why he looks so shit. But what's wrong with Harvey? Did he get hit by a taxi too?

Harvey jumped up and got some ice chips from a machine down the corridor, bringing them into Mike's private room and helping him slip the chips into his mouth. He waited a minute for them to melt and ease into Mike's system. He should probably call a doctor, or a nurse, but he wanted a minute. "You've been in a coma for 3 weeks now Mike.. I'm not going to patronise you by asking you if you know what's happened. But do you remember what I did? Before the accident?" Mike sighed, his chest hurt and he knew it would be bruised. "Yes, you idiot. I remember what you did."

"And I'm beyond mad, but I almost died! And maybe I've learned that there is more to life than your fuck ups, and you screwing up all the time because if you didn't cock shit up all the time then I'd just get bored. I'd have nothing to fix!" Mike was out of breath and tired, but he had to finish. Harvey had to know that it was not okay to go sleep around, especially now he has a boyfriend who loves him ( God knows why ). "You are not allowed to go sleep around, you have me now. And I'm not like your other call girls, I'm your BOYFRIEND. Also. Cassie, or Callie or whatever her name is," Harvey tried to speak up but Mike just continued, faster. "Will never step foot in our house ever again."

"Our?" Harvey looked up, smiling ever so slightly. "Well, look at me. I'm not going to be able to live on my own am I? And we both know that you aren't going to come live at my flat. However, I'm bringing the panda with me." Mike had thawed to Harvey and his wrong doings slightly. "You are not bringing that ugly thing with you!" Harvey started to argue, but Mike had already fallen asleep. Perhaps he should have told a doctor before Mike fell asleep again..

Harvey had come and gone from the hospital more times than he could count and Mike had had various visitors, but it was now 5 weeks after his accident and 2 weeks after he had come out of his coma. Rachel was beyond worried about him, and still pissed at Harvey. Jessica was grateful that Mike was regaining health as it meant she'd have her Butch and Sundance back at the office. It was the big day. Mike wold be coming out of the hospital and into Harvey's care and he was bricking it. What if he couldn't actually look after Mike?

"Hey darling." Harvey smiled softly at Mike, as he tried to pull a t shirt on over his lithe torso. "You need some help with that?" Mike reluctantly nodded, he felt like a broken man again, like when him and Harvey first started dating and he had seen his burns… The older man slowly shimmied the soft t-shirt over his cast and wounded body, careful not to touch the spots where bruises had been.

"Mikey.. you alright?"

"Yeah.. I'm just tired, I haven't moved this much in weeks.." Harvey ran his fingers through his boyfriends hair and tried to muster a smile, "Well you're going to build up your strength again, and you'll be back on that bike in no time. And for now, you've got these bad boys." Mike slipped one arm into a crutch, and Harvey held the other one, Mike's cast would be off in four days and he'd be able to use both arms to hobble about until the cast on his leg was off. They managed, somehow, to get home. Home.. to both of them.

Harvey hadn't showered in days, he hadn't had the time, and he was scared that if he got in the shower, the phone would ring and he wouldn't ever get to say goodbye to his Mikey. Mike was settled on the couch, watching the 4th Harry Potter film, with a big bowl of popcorn that he wasn't necessarily allowed but it made him feel better and not so anxious. Harvey got in the shower and was grateful for the hot water on his back.

The pots fell on Mike before he had chance to shout for Harvey, and he fell in a big heap sitting against the slate kitchen cabinets, the tears pooled in his eyes and in Mike's exhausted state he sobbed to himself, desperate for his lighter but Harvey didn't have naked flames at his apartment. The cool, clinical penthouse didn't feel like home to Mike anymore. It felt like Harvey's apartment. Hundreds of girls and guys had slept in his bed, fucked on his counters.. Walked around butt naked with his shirt on. How could he feel at home in a place that was nothing more than an expensive one man brothel?

"Mike.." Harvey walked out of his expansive bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Mike baby, whats wrong?" Mike just wanted to curl up in a ball and not look at his incredibly beautiful boyfriend. "I know I said that this place is home.. But all I see is the hundreds of people you've slept with. I know its silly but I figured were forever. And this just isn't a forever home to me. I feel like a one night stand."


	11. Chapter 11

**Five years on.**

Mike stood with his robes on, and his degree in law in one hand, and a toddler balanced on one hip. Harvey stood proudly taking a photograph, capturing the moment. "One for the mantle piece." Mike grinned, "Want to see Noah?" The little boy with soft blonde hair and big brown eyes nodded, peering over the large expensive camera, even after all of Harvey's promises about not focusing on wealth so much, he still loved his boy toys. Noah grinned and poked his face, Mike knew Harvey would be wincing at the sticky fingers, but he had got better at dealing with mess recently. The graduation ceremony had been strenuous on Harvey, he had had to entertain Noah whilst Mike waited to be honoured as top of his class at Yale. Harvard.. funnily enough didn't want him in their class of 2020.

Donna came bustling up to them with her husband Spencer and their two children in tow, Lucia and Alexander. "Here let me take Noah.. Hey you little monkey. We could hear you giggling even from where we were sat!" Donna easily shifted Noah onto her hip and Spencer shook Mike's hand, "Congratulations Mike." He nodded politely at Harvey, even though the Harvey was his children's god father.. they just couldn't see eye to eye. Different men.

_"__Happy birthday you guys!" Mike cried out to Donna's red headed twins, equally gorgeous and funny. Even at four. "Uncle Mike! Uncle Mike! Can we show you the den that daddy built for us?" Mike grinned and ran after them both, out into the back garden where a dual storey tree house come den had been built out of multi coloured woods and proper glass windows.. There was even an elf like door, that Mike just managed to squeeze himself through. It was like a child's palace, beautiful ornate rugs, arm chairs, fairy lights, all of their favourite toys, pots of paint, play dough, jars of sweets way up high, a ladder up to the 'top deck'. He followed Alexander as he climbed up each rung, where two sets of bunk beds were attached to the walls. Each with stereotypical bedding, and more plush toys than they could count. Spencer had really out done himself. _

_"__He built them a treehouse?!" Harvey scoffed whilst he spoke to Donna, she scowled. "Don't do that. Yes he built them a treehouse, they don't really build them in England because they don't survive the winter." Spencer came from a small town in Derbyshire, where they could have up to four months of snow in the winter. "Look. I know you think I can do better, as you reminded me on my wedding day, at the christening of the twins, heck even when I walk into the office in the morning. But, I love Spencer just like you love Mike." Spencer had heard the conversation and casually walked in just at the right moment, slipping an arm around the waist of his wife and kissing her cheek gently. "Your boyfriend seems to love the tree house Harvey, perhaps you should build him one." Spencer cut in. Harvey scoffed again and smiled politely, "Seems a little odd is all I'm saying, the kids are only four." Spencer tried to bite his tongue, but he couldn't. "And what's Noah? 6 months old? And he wore a Tom Ford suit to our wedding? Which he then dribbled all over?" Spencer nodded smugly, "Yeah, thats not odd at all that you spent more on your baby's suit than some people do on their rent." _

_Donna laughed hesitantly and made a large flourish about how the cake needed candles and she'd lost all the matches, even though there was a pack hidden behind her back. Spencer smirked and went off to get her some. "Play nice." Was all she needed to tell Harvey. _


	12. Chapter 12

Mike sauntered from his office down to Harvey's, with the cases that he hadn't managed to file yet under one arm and a woman talking on the phone to him in the other hand. He smirked at Donna, and walked right in, "Donna get the ass hole that just" Harvey shouted at Donna, throwing a ball at the window. He turned round to see Mike stood there, "Mike what is it?" Mike raised his eyebrows, "Somebody's tetchy today.. Look Noah's got a fever and needs to be taken away from day care, Selena is telling me all I need to know on the phone right now." Mike smiled, holding the phone as far away as he could. Harvey shrugged, "And you want me to..?" Mike rolled his eyes, "I'm a junior partner, with seven ongoing cases; you're a name partner with how many cases? Oh wait, you haven't got any because you're 'in-between' cases right now. Which in my books means that you can go pick up OUR son from day care and nurse him back to health." Mike handed Harvey his phone with Selena still talking and smiled, mouthing 'thank you' as Harvey put the phone to his ear.

Mike pushed the key into the teal front door of their 'forever - home', God he still remembered the day they moved in here.

_ "__Harvey, for fucks sake, I don't like your couch. It's not comfortable, and we agreed it wouldn't move here with us, so why is it in the fucking truck?" Mike sighed, standing on the New York street, staring into the van. Harvey walked down the fleet of steps and smiled, "But it's my couch." Mike turned round and smiled, "Yes, my darling, but it's OUR house." Harvey sighed and sat down on the steps, ringing his fingers through his hair, he loved that couch.. he smirked, and then quickly shook his head, he'd gone back to a memory of all the people he'd fucked on that couch and quickly decided that it had to go. "God you're right, it is an ugly couch." The younger man grinned, thinking he'd won, but little did he know. "Great, so we can go furniture shopping soon?"  
They were sat on the hard oak floor of their new living room, the bustle of New York traffic in the background, and the big glass doors open out onto their shared green space, much like in London, 14 old town houses were arranged in a square, all backing onto a manicured, lawn area with heritage trees and little patches of space that were secluded; where the houses didn't meet there were tall iron gates with intricate iron work atop of them, and every home owner had a key to the wrought iron gates that were at the north and south ends of the courtyard. The two lawyers were leant against packing boxes, Harvey had his arm slung round Mike's shoulders and they were both marvelling in the fact that they'd kept it under fifty arguments. "This is perfect." Mike whispered, leaning in, he softly kissed Harvey and smiled. "Thank you." Harvey smirked softly, "I knew you'd like it, it's beautiful isn't it?" Mike nodded and stared out into the distance, the buzzing hum of New York in the background, the Manhattan skyline just peeping above the trees. "I can't wait till we've got kids running round, learning to walk on these floors, having photos on their first day of school.." Harvey pulled up, "Wait, what?" Mike moved away slightly, how did he know that Harvey wouldn't want kids. "Kids Harvey. Little Specter-Ross'." Harvey stood up now, he didn't want this conversation, but I don't think that came into play. "I'm pretty sure neither one of us have wombs, in fact, I know for certain that neither of us have wombs so how do you think this is going to happen, pup?" Mike rolled his eyes, here we go.. the nickname's out, "Oh no Specter, you can't play dumb with me, and don't you dare try and sweet talk your way out of this one. We could adopt, look. I'm not saying that I want four or five rugrats, I don't even want three. But two would be nice.. Look, you know I grew up as an only child and as much as Trevor was a brother to me, I would've loved one of my own. You had siblings! Can't you remember how much fun they were, how much fun they are?" Harvey nodded, sighed.. the kid had a point, and Mike did lose his childhood at a very early age, it'd be unfair of him to take that away from him.. "I'll think about it." He said, getting up and walking into the kitchen to get more whiskey. _

"Hey guys I'm home!" Mike shouted, walking into the hallway and into the large open plan kitchen that he was so in love with. No answer? Maybe they were upstairs? He took the old staircase two at a time, still with his overcoat on, "Harvey? Noah?" Still no answer. He patted himself down, "Dammit." Harvey still had his phone. And they were no where to be found. He walked into Noah's nursery and looked around, a bead of sweat running down his face now. He popped open Noah's window and looked out into the 'forest' as Noah had affectionately named it. He couldn't hear or see them. Mike went flying back downstairs, no note. Where the fuck were they? Where the fuck was his kid?! Mike had been in court all afternoon, and hadn't gone back to the office, he had no idea if Harvey went and got Noah as he asked. Quickly he grabbed the car keys from the bowl and got into Harvey's Porsche, and he didn't fucking care if he scratched it, he drove a million miles an hour to 'Baby Steps' and ran up the steps through the front door, panting, he said "Did Mr Specter come pick up Noah?" the woman scanned the screen and shook her head, "Nah, as of the six pm register Noah is still in the Butterfly room." Mike checked his watch, it was 7 pm. He'd asked Harvey to pick him up at 1. Mike ran up to the Butterfly room and walked in to see Noah asleep in a crib in the corner of the room, he gently lay a hand against his forehead and he was still red hot. Selena walked in, with her long legs and long blonde hair, and that big bright smile it was obvious why the kids loved her, she was beautiful. And she loved all of the kids that were in her care - there was a reason why they paid thousands of dollars a year for the Baby Steps daycare. "Harvey said he was coming to pick up this little guy," she rubbed his hair, he was now comfortably propped on Mike's hip. "I know. I don't know where he is, Selena I'm so sorry." She laughed, "Mike it's not a problem, you know I love Noah. But when he's sick someone really has to come get him.." Mike could've throttled Harvey right now, where was that damn man? Noah and Mike made their way back home, he pushed the key into the lock, and took Noah inside, tucking him into bed and keeping the room cool, checking on Noah every ten minutes.

It was almost 2 am before Harvey stumbled through the door, drunk, and with the apparent intentions to get even drunker if the bottles in his hand had anything to do with it. "Mike!" "Mike baby where are youuuuu?" He drunkedly slurred, running into things wherever he went, Mike looked up from the couch, "Harvey? Where the fuck have you been?" Harvey backed off, he felt affronted. "I've been out!" The look of death crossed Mike's face, "You've been _out?" _He was furious, more than furious. "You've been out, when you were supposed to be picking up our ill toddler from day care? If you don't have a good FUCKING reason as to why you've been FUCKING OUT, Harvey Reginal" Mike was cut off, Harvey slumped against the wall, tears falling down his face. "My Mom's dead."


	13. Chapter 13

I had writers block for a really long time but I've got a little bit of spare time and I'm back !

Mike eased Harvey's limp body into his arms, and Harvey slumped so he was lying on the floor with his shoulders and head in Mike's lap. "When did you find out?" Mike stroked Harvey's hair gently, his breath reaked and he was having trouble getting the words out but this would likely be the only time that Harvey would talk about this, he needed to get his man to open up to him. He needed to know where to start. "Marcus.. You know, because they're still in touch.. were still in touch." He mumbled, he felt lost and alone and now both of his parents were dead and he wasn't even 50. Neither of them knew he was bisexual, neither of them knew he was with Mike.. "She didn't even know about you or Noah.." Harvey uttered, his thoughts spilling out into his speech. "Her funeral is tomorrow. Back home. Or.. her home now. She moved to Chicago." Mike soothed him, thinking of the right things to say. "We'll catch a plane tonight, bring Noah so he can see Marcus and the family. I'll call Jessica and let her know what's going on. That you're taking the rest of the week off and that no one should ring us unless it's an actual life or death emergency, I'm going to take care of you like you've taken care of me from day one."

It was a long day. Harvey stood at the front, shaking hands, keeping down the sick feeling that he couldn't shake off. Mike held Noah on his hip the whole time, he still had a fever, but he was cooling down in the Chicago winter chill. Noah was dressed in a Tom Ford suit, made over night and delivered personally to their hotel room in the morning, a little white rose in his lapel, he had a lion gripped in his milky baby paws, and he kept falling asleep against Mike's chest. Most of the service was smooth, a few sobs from the people who knew Lily well. None from Harvey. He would never forget, not even on her death bed, what she did to his Dad. But at the end of the day, she was still his Mom.

"Hey." Harvey leaned into his boyfriend, kissing the jaw bone that he so loved on Mike. Noah was asleep again and they'd decided not to go to the wake, they went back to their hotel room and arranged to have brunch with Marcus and his family the next day before flying home. "Hey, you did really well up there." Harvey shook his head a little, "I felt like a fool. I haven't rang that woman.. let alone speak to her face to face in such a long time. And here I am stood at her funeral, shaking hands with the man she left my Dad for." Mike gave his boyfriend a sympathetic look, and smiled. "C'mon, we'll order room service, put Noah to bed and watch a movie. I think there's a BluRay player in here somewhere?"

Finally, Noah was tucked up in the crib, out for the count. Harvey was wearing grey sweats on his bottom half and Mike was wearing checked pj bottoms, slung from his hips in that sexy, lustful way that normally made Harvey want to jump his bones every night. "He'll sleep all the way through, I imagine. He was falling asleep on me all day but I kept making sure he'd stay awake. He's not well, bless him." Mike got onto the king sized bed, and kissed Harvey sweetly before settling down in his arms. "Well, we can bring him to the good doctor when we get back to New York but I'm not taking him to a doctor here - we don't know them, how can we trust them?" Mike smiled, Harvey's over protective dad was rearing his head. "Babe I wasn't saying anything. I know Noah is your pride and joy, you could see it today. In his little Tom Ford suit, he's a Specter through and through." Harvey quickly jumped in, "He's a Specter-Ross, only that combination would wear a damn skinny tie." Mike laughed, he exhaled, for the first time all day, or at least he felt like it was, Harvey was finally settling down after an emotional roller coaster with no safety precautions. Harvey pushed Mike onto his back and straddled him easily, he was at least 10 pounds heavier than Mike and his slim frame never matched up. Harvey kissed Mike brashly, needing him to respond, needing Mike to _need_ him. Harvey pushed his pulsing member into Mike's thigh and he gasped, breaking their intense kiss for just one second, which Harvey soon stopped by slipping his strong hands around Mike's head and kissing him roughly again. They were soon desperately rubbing against each other in a hope for some of the friction to relieve the tension that was building up. Harvey broke the kiss. "Off, Mike."

Both panting, naked, sprawled over one another. "You needed that didn't you?" Harvey smirked and replied, "Like a fish needs water."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I hate to ask this - but if you like this fic and get all happy when I update could you just tell me? I never really know if people want to continue and that's just awkward ! Thanks, and here's another chapter

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A few weeks later and they were back in New York, the snow had started falling pretty soon, Harvey still had Christmas shopping to do and Mike was fully prepared - so nothing had changed there then. Mike sat on the rug by the fire with Noah carefully trying to walk towards him. Harvey was out in the city, presumably Christmas shopping ( Mike desperately hoped he was Christmas shopping ), when Mike had looked under their 9 ft tree he hadn't found any for him. Noah tumbled over again, "Uh oh! I'm coming to get ya!" Mike crawled over to his baby boy and scooped him up, tickling his belly. The toddler giggled gleefully and Mike grinned, he'd never been this happy. He never expected to have kids of his own, it was lonely growing up - he knew that his Grammy did the best she could but it was nothing like having your own sibling, and having Noah gave him this new childhood. "How would you feel having another brother or a sister one day Noah?" Noah nodded, giggling, but he was probably having a reaction to the bright red and green film showing on the screen. Mike smiled, Noah would be the best older brother one day.

Harvey pushed the key into the back door, slipping his shoes off and running up the stairs as quickly as he could, and more importantly - as quietly. He pushed open their bedroom doors and walked into his suit closet, stashing the bags. "Hey gorgeous." Mike had put Noah into his play pen and once he'd heard Harvey come in he went after him, he now had his arms slipped around Harvey. The older man jumped slightly and turned his head to see his handsome boyfriend stood in a tight black tee and distressed denim, bare foot. "Hmm, don't you look good." Harvey smirked, kissing his cheek. He wriggled until he was facing Mike, "So, whilst I've been being a good house husband with Noah where have you been, on Christmas Eve?" Harvey shrugged, "I've been busy." Mike raised an eyebrow at the man, mocking his words in a cynical tone, "You've been busy?" - strangely Mike didn't want to be in the arms of Harvey anymore. "Don't think like that Mike, I've been busy like Santa is currently busy, not busy like 'shagging-some-hot-nineteen-year-old-who-I- picked-up-in-a-bar' busy." Mike rolled his eyes, "Fine, I'll believe you. But you know I hate it when you go all illustrious on me." Harvey smirked and annoyingly for Mike, all was forgiven.  
"Your son is downstairs, you know." Mike mumbled as Harvey groped Mike's ass, "Oh, I know. It'd be a shame wouldn't it if you were just put on the edge and I took it away?" Harvey stepped away from Mike and tugged his v-neck navy sweater rom his chest, he deftly undid the buttons on his white button down shirt and dropped it on the floor before finding a soft grey tee and pulling that over his taut chest. He left the jeans on and pushed off his socks. Mike licked his lips and caught Harvey off guard, kissing him wantonly. "Nuhuh. Mikey, 'your son is downstairs you know'." Harvey drawled, mocking Mike. The younger man huffed and walked downstairs, closely followed by his other half.

The presents were stashed under the tree, Mike had put the turkey in the oven and set a timer, the cookie crumbs were sat on the plate and the glass of milk had just a little bit left in the bottom. Mike and Harvey had covered the house in fake snow, and left footprints from the fireplace to the tree. The scene had been set, and they were ready for Christmas. Albeit, it would be a small Christmas, but Donna was coming over with her family on boxing day. ( AN. Sorry about this, I'm english and so I couldn't leave boxing day out ! )  
Mike rubbed his thumb against Harvey's torso, slowly waking him up. "Merry Christmas, Harvey." He smiled and kissed Harvey's lips, "Now that is something I'll never get bored of. Good morning babe." Mike smirked, "I hear Father Christmas has visited. Do you think Noah will realise that the footsteps are the same size as yours?" Harvey rolled his eyes, "Pup, Noah is 2. Do you want to ask that question again?" Mike shook his head and smiled, "Fine. But its his first Christmas with us. I want everything to be perfect.. I can't imagine his last Christmas was anything to live up to." Mike's mind had wandered now, to the first day they saw Noah, he was small and weak and he had old, tired eyes - as if he'd already seen a lifetimes worth of trauma at such a young age.

_Mike step foot in the care home and spoke to the receptionist, they had a meeting arranged with the owner of the establishment, to see if they were fit parents. They'd already had the home visit by the government, and now it was the final hurdle. .. The interview of course went with flying colours, and they walked into the room where the cots were held. Noah was only 14 months old at the time, and he was curled, as small as he could make himself, into a ball, the blanket clutched between his fists. Angela, the owner, walked over to him and as gently as she could muster, picked up the baby and held him in her arms. "This is Noah Scott. He's 14 months, his father passed away over New Year and his mother ran. We tried to track her down but it appears she left the country." Mike bit his lip, and squeezed Harvey's hand. "Where did you find him?" Harvey asked. "We found him in their apartment, all of the windows were open, he was just laying on the floor, a few bruises, a broken rib and malnourished. The mailman alerted us when he heard crying from the inside. We're still unsure of how long he was in there.. but well he's a tough cookie." Mike wanted to cry. He wanted to take Noah to the warm, cosy nursery that him and Harvey had painted and decorated and he just wanted to hold Noah in his arms. Who the fuck does that to a kid. In the bitter New York winter, just leaving an infant on the dirty floor of a shitty apartment? "Is he able to come home with us today? We already have a paediatrician lined up to take care of his health." Mike came back into the room, and looked at Harvey. Ever the lawyer, ever the sensible one. Angela nodded, "He can come home with you today, as long as you can give us the doctors details and if you could arrange when one of our care workers can visit.. Now, Mr Ross, would you like to hold Noah?" He smiled, willing himself not to cry, and took Noah into his arms, supporting his head._

"Let's go get our boy and wish him a Merry Christmas, eh?" Harvey spoke, and took Mike out of his memory. He kissed him sweetly and they both crawled out of bed, Harvey pulled a top over his head and Mike pulled a hoodie on, they walked to Noah's nursery - on the same floor as their suite. "We wish you a merry christmas…" They sang slowly as they entered Noah's nursery, an excited toddler, playing with his stuffies in his crib. Noah clapped his hands and shouted "Out! Out!" Mike smirked, "He's learnt that bossy-ness from you. What do you say if you want something Noah?" He might not have, but Mike was almost sure he rolled his eyes. "Pwease." Harvey chuckled, "Those L's still causing problems for you, little man?" Noah clung to Harvey like a cub, and nodded, giggling. Mike grinned, running downstairs as Harvey put Noah into a fluffy onesie, making sure he would be warm enough - even though the house was as efficient as it could possibly be. Mike went to the kitchen and made sure that Noah's present was ready, taking it into the large open space with the Christmas tree in it. The white sugar dusting along the tree made Mike's heart swell. Christmas was perfect. He had Noah's present in his arms, and he couldn't control his excitement. "C'mon guys! Hurry up you slow coaches!"  
Harvey came down the stairs, Noah wriggling in his arms and once they reached the hallway he put Noah down on his two feet, holding his arms and letting him toddle into the lounge. And there, in the myst of the snow and the presents and the lights, was Mike, sat with a small golden retriever puppy, who was almost as unsettled as Noah in the arms of a grown up. Mike chuckled, "Go!" He let go of the puppy and Noah finally realised the puppy was for him - the puppy was slightly smaller than Noah and they bonded instantly. The dog licked at Noah and Noah giggled, trying to hold onto him. Harvey smiled and looked at Mike, "I knew he'd love a dog." Mike smiled, "I should've believed you. What do you think Noah will call it?" Harvey shrugged, "Noah, baby, what do you want to call your puppy?" Noah looked at him and giggled, shouting "SNOW!" The snow was falling outside and the puppy ran after Noah. Harvey laughed. "Seems as good a name as anything. Noah, come over here with Papa. I have his present from us.. remember?" Harvey said.  
Noah came over, with Snow following him dutifully, Mike handed Noah a little parcel of treats and told him how to use them with Snow. Harvey coughed, getting a slim, but large parcel from behind the couch, he couldn't lift it, so with the help of Noah, he pushed it in front of Mike - the younger man unwrapped the present as quickly as he could, eager to see what was inside. "Me and Noah thought that it was time you got back on the saddle." Noah nodded and giggled, grabbing a helmet from the hallway and staggering into the lounge with it. "Hewmet?" Mike grinned and nodded, smoothing his hands over the bike. "Thank you, my boys." He kissed Noah's head, and kissed his boyfriends lips sweetly. After the commotion of the bicycle and Snow had calmed down, Harvey sat on the couch with Noah and Snow ( who after being told he couldn't go on the couch, grumbled and Mike relented. ) Mike smiled, finding his one of his and Noah's gifts to Harvey, it was a golden envelope that Mike handed to Harvey. As Harvey opened it a confused look spread across his face. "What's a Monopoly drinking experience?" Mike grinned, "I found it on this British website, we go around the whole of New York, and collect Monopoly cards from each bar that we visit, and we win different prizes along the way.. And then one of us will win at the end of the night." Mike bit his lip and winked at his boyfriend, Noah was oblivious. "Papa said you'd really like it Daddy!" Harvey leaned over and pressed his lips to Noah's forehead, whispering "And papa was right little man."  
After a big breakfast of waffles and pancakes, and French patisseries, they went back to the lounge to open more presents. But Harvey couldn't wait. "I know we said we were only doing presents if Noah could help pick.. But I had to do this one alone. Mike, Noah close your eyes, you too Snow." Diligently, they closed their eyes as Harvey took a small velvet box from under the tree, he got down on one knee, amongst the snow and the twinkling lights and the magic of Christmas and said "Mike. Open your eyes." Mike slowly opened his eyes and sat with Noah, in shock, he spluttered and tried to speak. "No, don't. I need to say something first. Michael Ross, you are the light in my life, the reason I get up in the morning. You have been there for me through everything, you are my puppy, ( to which Snow barked ) .. sorry Mike, you were my puppy. Now.. Now i'd like to upgrade to husband. Will you marry me?"

Mike nodded, choking out a: "Yes."


End file.
